The Wisdom of Marriage Between Spouses
Selections from the Book The Story of The Beginning of Creation and The Creation of Adam, peace be upon him …
Written by Dr. Ali Muhammad al-Sallabi...
Episode (77)
After Allah created Eve, He informed Adam that she was a "wife" for him, just as he was a "husband" for her. This applies to human spouses as well; a man is a husband to his wife, and his wife is also a wife to him. Each one is a spouse to the other, and this indicates the remarkable and profound connection between the two partners. Life cannot be balanced, nor can stewardship be realized, except through this marriage and the unity and harmony that arise from it.
This means that a man alone cannot achieve his identity, nor can he cultivate the earth or engage in life fully. There is an important part of his being that can only be filled by his wife. Through her role as his spouse, she completes his deficiencies, fills his void, and fulfills his humanity. The same applies to women; they cannot achieve their identity, cultivate the earth, or fully engage in life on their own. There is a significant part of their being that can only be filled by their husbands. Through his role as her spouse and their marriage, he completes her deficiencies, fills her void, and fulfills her humanity. A complete marital life is necessary to address the deficiencies and fill the void for both men and women. This marital life is based on psychological, spiritual, emotional, and physical connections between them, which lead to the establishment of a family, children, and a shared understanding of concerns, hopes, and aspirations. The longer the marriage lasts, the stronger the compatibility, connection, and bond between them becomes.
This is why a man is a husband to a woman, and a woman is a wife to a man, as Allah Almighty says: {And We said, "O Adam, dwell, you and your wife, in Paradise and eat therefrom in [ease and] abundance from wherever you will. But do not approach this tree, lest you be among the wrongdoers."} [Al-Baqarah: 35].
Western materialism has greatly faltered when it opposed this union between spouses, reducing the relationship between a man and a woman to a "communal" one based merely on a fleeting physical encounter for the purpose of sexual relations and "fulfilling needs."
The institution of marriage is as ancient as Adam and Eve, and there is no alternative to it in terms of law or nature. It is imperative for each party to strive to mend and protect the relationship.
Allah Almighty created Eve as a wife for Adam and addressed her alongside her husband: {and eat therefrom in [ease and] abundance from wherever you will. But do not approach this tree,}. Allah's direct address to her with her husband is an honor and a responsibility, delineating her independent accountability and status, indicating that she is not subordinate to her father or husband.
The principle in the commands and prohibitions of Sharia is that they apply equally to males and females, unless there is evidence specifying one over the other. Engaging in the debate over the superiority of one gender over the other is unnecessary, as they are complementary to each other: {But the men [i.e., husbands] have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority].} [Al-Baqarah: 228].
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, recommended that a son honor his mother three times and his father once. This specific preference for the mother does not negate the general preference for the father. The address is the same, the punishment is the same, the reward is the same, and the law is the same. The weakness and gentleness that characterize women do not warrant an absolute virtue for men; men have their own virtues and fields, just as women do. While men may excel in patience during hardships and the responsibilities of life and work, they cannot endure the patience that women exhibit during pregnancy, childbirth, and nurturing.
A strong man may be annoyed by carrying a child for just a few minutes and may struggle to witness the pain of labor in someone he loves. He may also become irritated by the cries of children while trying to sleep. Conversely, there are men who are exemplary in their loyalty to their parents, and there are women who are also exemplary in their loyalty to their husbands, whether they are alive, absent, or deceased.
- Ali Muhammad al-Sallabi, The Story of The Beginning of Creation and The Creation of Adam, peace be upon him, pp. 561-563.
- My father taught me, Al-Awda, p. 176.
- Biography of Adam, Al-Khalidi, p. 113.
For further information and review of the sources for the article, see:
The Book of The Story of The Beginning of Creation and The Creation of Adam, peace be upon him on the official website of Sheikh Dr. Ali Muhammad al-Sallabi:
